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Monday, May 29, 2006

This You Will Never See



Classified Ads

Wanted: Unskilled Workers. No exp. nec.
Hours : Mon-Fri 9am-5pm
Health Benefits unparalleled
Generous profit sharing plan
4 wks. vacation annually to start

We are a Fortune 500 company, and we're begging people to work. We have a liberal advancement policy. Basically all you have to do, is show up for work. We offer a competitive starting wage. Entry level pay is 20hr. for laborers, with a 5% raise after 90 days. If you can read and write. There is a $2500 signing bonus. We will meet or beat any advertised vacancy. Just tell us where to find a copy.

Apply : Wherever you want to, and mail in your application. Don't worry about a thing. If necessary we will come to your house, and get you .

8 comments:

  1. If there were job classifications like that, people who say they cannot find a job will no longer have an EXCUSE not having a job.lol

    ReplyDelete
  2. Blinders-Off,

    That's just the thing. This will never happen. The more they demand, the less they are likely to get. They'll just be replaced with a less expensive worker.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous12:50 PM

    Why not? We're the richest country in the world.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous1:27 PM

    I won't pay anyone below $13 hr. to work, for my company. When they take time away from their family. I think it's worth that much.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous 1:23,

    What kind of business are you hiring for? That has a lot to do with how much the job pays.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous7:11 PM

    Never happen

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous7:25 PM

    Nice idea with this site its better than most of the rubbish I come across.
    »

    ReplyDelete